People often joke that MIT made a “mistake” letting them in—a small sign of the widespread imposter syndrome among students. I first arrived in 2015 as an undergrad and I’m now a Master’s student, so I’ve had two opportunities to make this joke! Many of us feel the need to prove that MIT didn’t make a mistake so we try figuring things out on our own, which leads to stigma and shame around asking others for help. Yet, help is available everywhere.
The wealth of knowledge, experiences, and connections of people at MIT is immense. And in my experience, people are more willing to help than I originally thought. As a Comm Fellow, I really do mean it when I say that anyone can come to the Comm Lab at any time, at any point in their writing process. But as a student, I also understand that there’s an activation energy barrier to overcome. Asking for help is hard. It is also a skill—and like other skills you acquire at MIT (technical, analytical, communication-related), this is something that will come more easily with practice.
For me, reaching out in a time of need has naturally happened through the relationships I built with classmates, friends, mentors, and even professors. Sometimes, even a vague or indirect expression of concern would be answered with a prompt solution, as I found out during my early research years. I once mentioned to my UROP mentor that I wasn’t sure when I could take the data I needed because I had class during the week and I wasn’t allowed to be in lab alone. She immediately offered to come to campus during the weekend. It was such a simple solution, and I realized that what seemed impossible to me as an undergrad only required a small adjustment on her part.
Coursework was another area where I often felt I was falling behind. I’ve reached out to professors to discuss the exam material after receiving disappointing exam scores. Admittedly, results can vary widely. In some cases, my professors offered to set time aside to go over the material with me and were extremely helpful. Other times, I received a less-than-warm response. One extreme example is when a professor categorically rejected the possibility that I could have punched numbers incorrectly into my calculator. It can be discouraging, but asking for help is the first step to getting unstuck.
Perhaps the most unknown space and difficult to navigate on your own is what’s beyond MIT. Whether I was searching for internships or now for a full-time job, asking others for guidance has been shockingly helpful. As an undergrad, I once lamented to an admin that I couldn’t find an internship and that national labs weren’t even responding to me. As I was moping, she texted a professor asking, “Do you think you could arrange an internship for Monica at X national lab?” The professor replied, “Absolutely, if that’s what she wants.”
Similarly, during my current job search, when I asked another professor for advice on which companies to apply to, he connected me with several alumni around industry to share their experience and to provide additional guidance. In the several times I’ve discussed career paths with my advisor, he often reaffirmed, “Finding a job is the easy part; the hard part is figuring out what you want to do, so just let me know what you want to do and we’ll find something for you.” Taking advantage of the NSE network’s immense experience and connections has helped me navigate a space that was initially opaque for me.
As I reflect on my (almost six!) years at MIT, most of these experiences helped me in that moment but also formed connections with people I could look to in the future. I’ve also learned that I could go to different people for different concerns: peers, mentors, admins, and professors. Because you’re building relationships in the process, asking others for help is basically just networking—you are leveraging your connections to solve issues or get advice.
As you’re reading this, if you’re stuck with something, don’t delay, send that email, ask for help. It’s true that you’ll have to consider when, how, and whom to ask, but it’s important to know that these channels exist. From coming to MIT with a network of zero people to a graduating Master’s student, at times I still don’t know what MIT has in store for me, but now I have people to rely on. As my time at MIT comes to a close, I may not remember the derivation of Snell’s law from 18.02, but I’ll definitely remember the people I met and their responses when I was lost. And if you’re working on a paper, a thesis, or a presentation, please know that I, too, am here to help.
Monica Pham is a Master’s graduate student working with Prof. Emilio Bagglieto.
Published April 8, 2021
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