What Is Your (Statement of) Purpose? : NSE Communication Lab

By Abtin Ameri

“When I was 8, my mother bought me a science encyclopedia, which opened my mind to the wonders of the universe. This fueled my passion for physics and engineering and has motivated me to apply to the Nuclear Science and Engineering department at MIT.”

Grad school admissions committees have read countless stories like this in applicants’ statements of purpose (SoP). In fact, this is what I had in an earlier draft of my own SoP. My reasoning for including such a story was to impress the admissions committee with my strong passion for science and, thus, get an offer of admission. Thankfully, before going through with that, I spoke with professors in my department at McGill University, and they gave me an important piece of advice: “Focus on the SoP and avoid pointless stories.” They explained that most applicants misunderstand the purpose of the SoP and fail to clearly get their message across to the committee. These applicants try to stand out with a moving story that detracts from the main points they aim to make.

To expand further on the advice, there are compelling reasons to put emphasis on the SoP. Your SoP is pretty much the only thing that is in your complete control. By the time you start preparing your grad school applications, the content of your CV, your GPA, your letters of recommendation, and other components are relatively out of your control. Your SoP, at this point, can make or break your application. Secondly, and more importantly, this document allows you to speak directly to the admissions committee. This is your chance to prove to them that you are a suitable candidate for the graduate program you’re applying to, and you can use appropriate storytelling techniques to demonstrate that.

I eventually came to realize that there wasn’t anything inherently wrong with my choice to include stories. However, storytelling is a tool, and it must be used correctly. The admissions committee does not look for the kinds of stories I was trying to incorporate into my SoP. In the context of graduate school applications, the objective isn’t to move the committee with an inspiring story or to ask them to take pity on you by telling a tragic tale. Instead, what the committee wants to see is analytical and soft skills that would allow you to succeed in grad school. Thus, the objective is to demonstrate your readiness for the graduate school environment. Consequently, your narrative should be around your skills, and the stories should serve as evidence. It’s always better to show, rather than tell. This was reinforced by professors at my undergraduate institution, as well as professors here at MIT.

Keeping this in mind, I had to scrap my original draft and start over. I began by listing my past experiences (i.e., summer research, TAing classes, and student government) and the skills I had acquired from them (i.e., perseverance, communication, and leadership) and proceeded to include stories that demonstrated those skills. Here’s an excerpt:

“Moreover, my very first Summer at McGill, I worked with Professor Higgins to build a hypervelocity launcher that would create and propel a metallic jet to velocities of up to 100 km/s, allowing spacecraft-debris collision simulation for interstellar missions. Taking advantage of the freedom given to me, I used CAD software and theory to design the launcher, going over 11 iterations before finalization. I then collaborated with technicians to manufacture and assemble the design. Finally, I used class 3R lasers, powell lenses, and photodetectors to construct a jet detection system for velocimetry. Exposure to that field of research made me comfortable with design, manufacturing, and experimentation.”

It was a very different approach from my earlier draft and, chances are, I wouldn’t be here had I not received this piece of advice.

A good story is one that has shaped you in a way that has made you better prepared and provides concrete evidence for the skills you need to excel in grad school. When including stories in your SoP, ask yourself the following questions: “What desirable attributes does this story reveal about me? Are these attributes that an admissions committee would be looking for?” My original story only reveals a vague passion, which isn’t really what an admissions committee seeks. What does your story reveal?

Abtin Ameri is a graduate student in Prof. Nuno Loureiro’s group. He is also an NSE Communication Fellow.

Published October 21, 2021